Mar
27
Facebook for my student?
Filed Under Christian Living, Family, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry
Parents ask me semi-regularly whether or not they should let their children have a facebook page. In the end this is a decision that parents need to make not based on what other families are doing but rather as what is the best option for their own students. I offer the following remarks as an aid for you to make the best decision for your children.
- The history of facebook. For an excellent overview of facebook, you can take a look at this wikipedia entry.
- It is no small thing. You probably know from your child’s incessant nagging that facebook is not an insignificant fad amongst high-school and college aged students. The current numbers read like this:
- # of Users: 18 million
- # of Page Views Per Month: 30 billion
- # of Pictures Hosted: Over 1 billion
- # of Facebook employees: 200
- Approximate 2006 Revenue: $50 million
- The advent of social networking services provides child predators ample opportunities to contact children they would not have been able to contact without the aid of the Internet. It is important to note that facebook, as a specific on-line social networking service, has several options for their users to choose from in terms of how information about them is shared. Any parent with a child on facebook should review the privacy options available and particularly should review what privacy options their child have enabled on their account. You cannot be too careful. Personal information such as addresses and phone numbers should not be shared outside of your child’s immediate network of friends or not at all. Remember that facebook is designed, in part, to create relationships between people who have not met in person and may never meet in person.
- Facebook is fun. The number of hours that students spend on facebook don’t lie. It is downright fun. You can post silly pictures of yourself. You can talk to friends you haven’t seen in years. You can share inside jokes with your good buddy. You can encourage someone after a sports win or cheer someone up after a bad grade on a test. We, as a nation, and students as a demographic, obviously are not at a loss for something to say. Facebook provides a venue for you to say whatever you want.
- Give facebook a testdrive. Facebook is organized into networks which may be designated by school, job, or geography. Anyone can get a facebook page. If you are a parent, and curious, why not start a facebook page of your own? You can try it out. You can look at all the bells and whistles. Who knows, you may like it. And if you don’t like it, you can always delete your account.
- Two Major Warnings. In addition to the obvious threat of on-line predators, you should be concerned about the following to issues on facebook.
- A lightning rod for sin. Facebook can serve to polarize thoughts in your children that you would rather them not have encouraged. Often, a student will post something derogatory about another student, a teacher, or parents in general. That post then serves as a lightening rod for further derogatory comments. On-line bulletin boards, forums, social networking services, and blogs can serve to enhance sinful attitudes toward others and authority.
- A potty mouth has a potty keyboard. Facebook is only as clean as the members page that you are on. General filth, especially in language, can and does abound on facebook. This is another reason to beware what your student is posting and where they are going.
- There is no such thing as privacy. Personally (and theologically) I don’t believe in privacy for children. If you’re child is going to have a facebook, a myspace, a cell phone, etc, then you should know who they are contacting. Know your child’s facebook password and keep up with their usage. Make spot checks when they are on the computer. If you insist on knowing where they are when they are at a friends house on Friday night, you should insist on knowing where they are on-line.
- You’re child will probably eventually have one. If trends continue, facebook and sites like it will be around for a good long while. If you decide to allow your student to have a facebook site, see it as an opportunity to teach them on-line etiquette, godly conversation, and how to protect themselves from on-line predators and identity fraud. Apparently, these are lessons they will need to learn eventually. Better they learn them from you than their freshman roommate.
- Out of the heart the facebook speaks. As a former youth minister, I’ve seen some really good facebook pages and some very disappointing facebook pages. Students have impressed me and surprised me. What is the determining factor? The determining factor is what is in a student’s heart. They will write about and comment in line with their relationship to Jesus Christ. Plain and simple, facebook will reveal sides of your child you haven’t seen. This may be very encouraging to you or very discouraging to you. But certainly, either way, it should be an opportunity for more conversation with your student and more prayer with your God.
These are just some suggestions. Maybe you were wondering if I had a facebook page. I do. I keep up with college friends. I find out who is getting married and which couples are having babies. It has helped me keep up with former students from my youth ministry who have gone off to college.
Remember though, in the end it is your decision. You have to make it for your student and then you have to take parental responsibility over your decision. Pray about it. Gather all the facts. Talk to parents whose children already have facebook pages. And in all things labor to the glory of God.
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Excellent summary! Facebook has become one of the primary means of communication for my youth group. I never used MySpace because of the lack of security and all the junk on it, but Facebook takes an entirely different approach that I feel comfortable with.